Swapna's Blog on short emotional experiences !!!!!

Dear Daughter

2011-07-08T02:19:00.000-07:00

A breath of fresh air;
So lovely and fair,
Bringing excitement and cheer,
for people near and dear,
Talking to others with care,
Playing games always with dare,
Likes drawing cats and girls,
Jumping in air with swirls,
Helping people in need;
Old people or kid,
Listening to elders and their advice;
Making goodies of their choice,
Giving company to mother - Ah! so divine,
I love you so much - O! daughter of mine.

Artistic Sense and Sensibility

2011-05-02T00:16:00.000-07:00

Summer vacations arrive with a bang ! They bring with them - the right to sleep late, to wake up late, to play the whole day, to demand ice cream and cold drinks as if it was every child's right and to always ask one question - "Mom, what should I do now ?" I never had any problems answering this question during the school days for my daughter is always busy with her routine, but in the vacations, this questions foxes me.

My Father in law promptly thought of putting his 'busy' grand daughter in a Drawing Class. My daughter shows keen interest in drawing and colouring and we feel very happy when she gets an award or certificate for her abilities. So grandpa took all the trouble of assembling all her drawings and taking the file to the drawing class teacher; who lives a short distance away. The teacher, Mr Kate, was pleased with the drawings and so next day onwards, the class started.

The first day was a formality in checking the usage of pencil and shading with the crayons. The second day progressed to what my daughter likes most that of putting her world on paper. The world specifically includes all doll like girls, depicting various actions; at times animals or sometimes nature. The third day impressed us all - her teacher had made her do a scenery and taught her how to bring it to life !!

Deeply impressed, I went to bring back my daughter from her drawing class on the fourth day at about 6:15 pm. I found the building and the flat and on entering the house; I was surprised - there was no furniture but only huge painting boards put here and there. The kids were seated on the airy terrace and I saw my daughter immersed in her work. This gave me time to observe the paintings on the wall, on the floor; practically everywhere. I could not make out her teacher but I noticed a young man with jeans and shirt and glasses and long hair. I guess this must be Mr Kate; all artistic people do really make themselves be seen. His wife is a beautiful and pleasing personality; trying to help out with the kids and classes.

Again my attention shifted to the room where I was and I found myself with ample amount of time to study the paintings as a layman. A dark red background with some whites and greys like a Stone Age man painting, a half finished painting with a young maiden turning her head away and exposing her neatly plaited hair; and some such other paintings. Frankly, I understood nothing ! Though one painting caught my eye - it was a grey blue coloured one probably depicting a snow mountain range and in the middle as a small man shown as a red dot and two dangling unequal black lines. I focussed my attention to this one and my thoughts drifted to the man who is all alone in a hostile cold environment.

But hey ! the legs were moving !!! Surprised, I stared at it again and Oh ! it dawned on me that this was a CLOCK; the legs of the man were the hands of the' clock and the red dot was the centre !! I could barely control my laughter and wonder at what high level thinking' i was doing without making use of my common sense.

I cried just for you, mother !

2011-02-24T22:28:00.001-08:00

Watching a new born baby is a real treat for all 8 year olds. My daughter is no exception to this for she can talk to the baby nineteen to the dozen along with cooing and caa-ing showing her antics and gestures; no matter whether the baby understands or not. It was on one such occasion that Manasi; my daughter asked me curiously upon returning home, about how she was as a baby. My one line answers did not seem to satisfy her, so I had to elaborate them and tell her about nature, habits, size, her likes and dislikes, and so many things that only a child will be interested in.

“Who saw me for the first time?” quipped Manasi. “Were you happy upon seeing me” asked Manasi with a mischievous look. “I was rather worried, beta” was my frank answer which took her by surprise and her naughty smile away. “Why?” she asked me inquisitively. “Actually you were not crying. I only heard a sigh from you but no musical cry as I had expected to” I told her recalling my most happy moment of giving birth and at the same time that of apprehension upon sensing something amiss. “The doctor held you by your feet and patted your back, cleaned your mouth and then finally he used some thing to clear your blocked windpipe. And after that you gave me the best music that my parched ears were dying to drink. You cried most beautifully, beta, you were heard all over the room and outside. Even your grand parents and aunt heard you; waiting outside.” I heard myself explaining most joyfully and feeling a tear roll down my cheek recalling my experience and the sigh of relief upon hearing my baby's cry.

Looking at me with a matured look, Manasi took my face into her hands and said, “I had decided not to cry but I cried just for you, mother”. Hearing her answer, I could only wonder at the irony of the situation; how crying suddenly became the love of a child towards her mother.

Twinkle Twinkle Little Stars ..... I can't see you, you are so far !!

2011-02-24T22:27:00.001-08:00

Busy correcting answer papers, I glimpsed at my daughter through my glasses; trying to understand what she was saying. “Oh Mom, would you please buy me a 'speckles'? Before I could even understand, my daughter showed me her eyes – fluttering her eye lashes vigorously. “Oh, you mean 'spectacles'?”, I tried to rectify her mistake. “Obviously ! Don't you think I will look smart?” was her enthusiastic reply. Hearing her verbal and non verbal communication, I could only agree with her, though I 'smartly' tried to evade any promises.

One week passed, again I was asked to fix an appointment with the doctor for getting 'speckles'. I corrected her and again and my daughter went on about smartness. So I tried to act doctor myself and asked her to count the electric wires or cable wires hanging from building to building. My daughter counted them perfectly and I counted them twice as much for I was not using glasses for my imperfect eyesight. “See, you have perfect vision ! You can count them correctly ! There is no need for spectacles.” was my decision.

Another week passed and while we were about to get ready for her rope gymnastics class, I found myself staring at my smiling daughter's mischievous face. “I want a speckles with just a frame”, said my daughter decidedly. I was left with no option but smile back at her and take her to the shop. The walk to the shop brought memories of me going to the doctor for an eye check up and my first day of adjusting to the glass; not to mention my unsuccessful attempts at using the contact lens. By the time, we noticed the shop, both of us were brimming with excitement and with light steps we opened the heavy door.

A quick discussion with the shop keeper and with some gadgets, he gave me his reading saying “your daughter has a minor power – 0.25”. My daughter's excitement knew no bounds. “See I told you, I must have spectacles.” The correct usage of the word had not escaped me. We immediately went to an 'eye' doctor who left the decision to us of either using the glasses or not. So finally we confirmed with the shopkeeper and placed an order for the glasses. The frame selection process was not very time consuming. My daughter was very clear about the frame and selected one perfectly smart one. I even suggested my husband to consult her for such matters.

“Come tomorrow at 7:30 pm to collect them”, said the shopkeeper. “Oh, I am not in a hurry, take your time; for if you don't give them tomorrow then I will have to answer so many of my daughter's questions”, I said, worried that any delay will add to me and my child's patience. “Don't worry, I will give you call to confirm the completion”, said the shopkeeper looking at my daughter's questioning face.

Next day, the shopkeeper indeed gave us a call and off we both went all excited about the new 'look' my young lady is to have. Putting on the glasses, my daughter gave me the biggest smile that showed all her non aligned teeth and her twinkling eyes that indeed showed me the stars which were after all not so far.

Twinkle Twinkle Little Stars ..... I can see you, though you are so far !!

My First International Flight

2011-01-02T23:52:00.000-08:00

"Hey Mom ! Pack my favourite toy !" called my daughter at the top of her voice. "You know, I cannot go to South Africa without 'Patch' !", was her soft explanation. I had no choice but to pack a small soft toy dog. I had strict instructions from my husband on what things he wanted after a gap of couple of months of enjoying the tastiest home cooked Indian dishes. My parents had their say of having me pack medicines, snacks to add to the heavy luggage. I had my views of packing some trendy clothes. And so it went, till the two bags were full and a third got added ! So many things to take care of, things had to be sorted as per hand bags and bags that would be handed to the airline.

All this packing and handling was onto me; my daughter being just a eight year old. But brave that she is, she told me "Hey mom, don't worry, I will carry one of the bags !". With her reassurance, we started off in our already booked airport pick up vehicle from Pune to Mumbai. Both of us were going abroad for the first time and it made us excited, nervous, apprehensive and a bundle of energy. We reached the airport and were directed to the luggage cart. "It doesn't move !". I applied all my strength. By that time, my daughter got curious and put her hand on the handle and the cart moved. Oh ! so this was the mechanism, off we went inside the airport through numerous gates and security checks, till we had nothing to do but wait for our flight and that too for three hours. In our excitement and over eagerness, we had reached early, had completed our formalities early and exhausted our energy early !

After a long wait, we found ourselves on the bus to the air plane. A short welcome and greetings, and both of us were comfortably seated with the window seat as a bonus. But then everything was dark due to the early morning flight. We enjoyed our one hour looking at people, the air hostesses, the food, the chairs, the instructions. And then, we watched a movie. People around us were sleeping soundly, but the two of us, try as we might, we could catch only the proverbial forty winks. The time difference added just the right ingredient to make us even more confused when we finally landed at Johannesburg. The fetching of our baggage which includes going to the particular 'carousel' and picking up our heavy bags was an activity where my daughter took full responsibility of spotting our bags and running with them !

The usual 'Hello', 'How are you ?'; sounded distant to me. Indians are used to not being greeted and here the two of were acknowledging some of the 'Hellos'. At the security check, I took time to adjust to the new accent and for once both of us wanted some hot 'upama' or 'poha'. Finally, after some quick steps we were there waiting for my husband at the circle. He was very happy to see the two of us all fit and fine and grinning from ear to ear. "Mom, now you need not worry. We are with Baba" said my daughter and I knew how right she was.

My first flight to South Africa was over and so were my apprehensions. We enjoyed our stay and the different food and the small garden in our courtyard added the colour to our trip.

‘M’NIK v/s ‘SAI’NIK

2010-02-11T10:58:00.000-08:00

Sure, only the title is captivating; reality though, sadly; is quite disturbing. ‘My Name Is Khan’, a much awaited Shah Rukh Khan film has run into a controversy with the Shiv Sainiks. Its sad that movie lovers of a certain region would not get to see the movie in theatres due to the already tense environment that the people involved have created, be it with their words or their egos or their so called ‘wisdom’.

In between, the movie watchers have formed their own opinion of avoiding such tense situations. Money loss, life loss or property loss; are just a few ‘petty’ issues that the people have to handle. It’s indeed wise on their part to actually stay away from such issues and situations.

The people involved in either the film or the political party are doing their best to suit the wishes of the people above them. Ultimately, they are the ones who suffer like the public. The people at the top, though, suffer maximum amount of stress and anguish and a high sense of insecurity.

This whole situation brings one to think that if none benefits then why come up with such self created problems ? Why does one issue lead to the escalation of another issue and cause so much heartburn to others ? Why does one keep ones ego above everybody else’s or everything’s benefit ?

With so much being done for the publicity these days, either for promotional reasons or propagation purpose, who knows what the reality is, besides considering the fact that the somewhere, the public, party and promoters are getting a raw deal.

Migration and 'Im'migration

2010-02-09T00:56:00.000-08:00

The first thing that comes to the mind is a flock of flamingoes coming all the way from Siberia to India to enjoy the warm weather. There are other birds and animals who follow the pattern of migrating from one place to another in search of better living conditions. Hardship is just a part of life and adjustment to the different territory is another parcel of life.

The recent past months show a lot of social unrest in some group of people regarding the inter state migration of people to some preferred part of the country. Folks, indeed Mumbai is in the limelight, it has always been and probably will always be.

Times have changed so much. 10 years back, most of the Indians would dream of wanting to work in some foreign land, earn money and lead a comfortable life. Even I was in awe of the stories that I heard; that of being alien in some foreign land and being all by oneself. The luxury that people experienced would also be the focus of many a conversation. The talk also included the warmth that all Indians shared amongst the natives of that land.

These thoughts brought me to another reality - weren't Indians themselves fighting on a regional basis ? The same behaviour was exhibited by the other countries for the Indians. They also felt that the job loss was to be conveniently put on the Indians who it seems agree to take up any work which they would squirm upon back in India. Indeed surviving in a different land is tough.

One of my visits to the Lion Park in South Africa, introduced me to an Australian Lady who had come all the way just to be with the Giraffes. We discussed so many things, talkative personalities that we were. The 30 minutes of conversation made us realize that it is after all just a human to human bonding that matters. No matter what hostility we have towards each other, it is ultimately the bonding also that brings us together.

The migratory birds stick to their flock and prefer the comfortable convenient destination. Even we humans try to be in our own group and look for greener pastures.

I am as tall as my teacher !

2010-01-04T20:40:00.000-08:00

"Hey ! Did you see the 'Bournvita Plus' ad ?" quipped Tina.

"Oh, not that one, you sure must stick to our favorite, 'Complan' added Rani.

I couldn't help but give my undivided attention to the conversation coming from the two sweet girls playing at the corner of the play ground. After all, who would want to miss out on a debate involving 'the complete food' and that too from the eyes of the kids themselves. But apart from the advertisement and the packaging, the next piece of conversation really impressed and amused me.

"Do you know, I am as tall as Sheetal teacher ?" said Rani to her best friend. Tina in the mean time was thinking of something better to add. And overhearing their conversation, I was surprised to hear this, for Sheetal teacher is quite tall with an impressive height of 5'7". My surprise led me to these two, and I casually asked Rani who is just 4'1" tall, 'How come you are as tall as Sheetal teacher ?'

"Oh Aunty ! When Sheetal teacher sits in her chair and I stand near her for getting my notebook corrected, at that time I stand as tall as my teacher" pat came Rani's reply with a ear to ear smile.

The three of us burst out laughing.

The two ribbons

2009-12-01T23:39:00.000-08:00

Ever wonder, where has the 'ribbon' word disappeared ? As a child, I remember many girls my age, with black or white ribbons adorning their long oiled plaited and parted hair. On special occasions, all girls would be wearing coloured satin ribbons.

The ribbon has shown quite some evolution. It started off with some cotton material which was quite broad and would get folded along the length of the ribbon. The next improvement came with the synthetic ribbons which are popular even today for their crease resistant property. For parties and birthdays, the satin ribbons proved to be a major attraction.

So no wonder that I loved to tie up my daughter's hair in two pony tails dangling in the air and the ribbons flying in the wind. Though, I must say that on returning from school, the picture would be reversed ie the ribbons dangling in the air and hair flying in the wind !

And do observe the face of the daughter, when her hair is getting tied, the slightest of hair pull, brings a frown upon the face and though satisfaction for the daughter is rare, any other person being preferred over the mother, is simply unheard of.

Such a pretty picture brought memories of my school days and the way my mother tied my hair. Though, the hands that tied the ribbons have changed, the bond between the two individuals still remains ever so strong. The ribbon ties just not the hair, but also bonds the mother and daughter, together.

The Convention

2009-11-24T00:04:00.000-08:00

Early, one cold Sunday morning, a commotion of a large number of crows, brought me to the window showing the grand Gulmohar tree with its branches trimmed. I was surprised to see so many crows sitting on one tree and caw-cawing away with their gaze upon a common thing of interest.

At first, I hardly noticed what they were looking at, for all crows are known to care for their kindred and it is believed that cawing crow means the arrival of a guest. But surely a large number of crows were in no mood to tell me something. They were here wit some purpose of their own; probably a meeting to sort out some issue or mourn another crow's death.

Then I noticed something else, they would all fly from one tree to another, together and come back to the same tree which showed their common point of interest. I thought maybe a snake would be going back and forth and was attracting the crow's attention. I noticed a peculiar brown dotted object on one of the branches. "Oh! so this snake is a reason for the whole discussion", so I thought. But, the snake would not move. "Maybe its dead".

By now, all people in the vicinity were getting curious and looking towards the crows. My inquisitiveness into the matter started gaining ground when my daughter came with her binoculars. At the same time, one of the crows mustered enough courage to check on the confusing object and it started to peck on it. And then it realized that it was nothing more than a piece of cloth. The other crows also saw the futility of the discussion once the whole mystery was solved.

All the crows who were till now cawing suddenly lost interest and flew away ! It appeared as though a decision to a common problem was reached and corrective measures taken. If a bird such as a crow can understand this then I am sure most people who involve themselves in conventions should also see the logic behind it and act accordingly.

The Indian Chinese (for Lavanya)

2009-11-04T01:51:00.000-08:00

The Chinese cuisine has become such an integral part of Indian food; though I wonder whether a Chinese would find the same food actually Chinese food, for it has become Indian-ised Chinese food. Visit any state and the distinct flavor is quite apparent. Prepare the recipe at home and you will find something missing.

Ask any college going student of his favorite food joints and you are sure to hear at least one Chinese hangout. The Chinese joint is quite varied in the ambiance, cost, preparations; higher the price, lesser the hot chilly and lesser the crowd and vice versa. Most of the upmarket Chinese food joints are frequented by IT Professionals or those rich brat types. Such joints keep the kitchen quite away from the customer's eyes, so what goes on inside is any body's guess. Most of the college students would prefer a low cost Chinese hand cart where the unhygienic conditions are before the customer ! This makes the whole experience of eating at such a place even more adventurous and exciting. Youngsters shout over the din with care a damn attitude.

Once I visited with my family an expensive Chinese restaurant with those prop ah attendants and dim lighting and greenery and all fashionable. Sitting there sipping on the Chinese soup, I recalled my college days where finding a place to sit and eat was next to impossible. But surely the food that I had tasted before was more tasty and spicy and best of all we all friends had enjoyed the food together, had cried for water together and had checked our purses for Rs 10s and 20s !

I can still vividly remember our whole class debating on which place to visit; was it Fatehgunj, Race Course circle or Sama Road ? All our girls' only parties happened near Race Course Circle, the sole reason being it near to our homes, but when it came to the class party, the unanimous decision would always be either Fatehgunj or Sama Road. As an exception, just for having 'Dry Manchurian', we would all go to Waghodia and eat as much as would take care of another month of craving for Chinese food.

Any venue, any menu, the discussion amongst the different groups at different times would always be of varied nature. Right from the exchange of ignorance to the suggestion of being in step, our class enjoyed the discussion with friends and classmates. No wonder the food tasted so good with added spices of discussion.

The delicious chinese food before me, brought me back to my present and I started to search for the mysterious ingredient that made chinese food so tasty. Now the discussion between friends has been replaced by a talk by my child and though there may not be the tangy taste; there sure is a likeness for the noodles and rice.

The Test

2009-11-04T01:36:00.000-08:00

To get a certificate issued by any government organization, requires patience, pertinence and most important a very strong will to tide over whatever hurdles come your way. Right from starting with finding the location of the office to finding the officer in charge, one must exhaust all energy to finally hear of some errors or problems in one's case.

I had a similar such experience of wanting to get a certificate for which I had to take my daughter. So off we went together after the school hours and thankfully ! my daughter still had her 2 pony tails in proper condition. The rickshaw took us quickly to an old looking building and an even older looking office with just enough space for the person in charge to sit and handle the applicants' forms through an even smaller window.

Both, mother daughter duo enjoyed the discussion on the location and when our turn came, handed over the application and were expecting the receipt when lo and behold ! out came the error bug and so off we went to solve the problem. The nearest bank to solve the problem proved to be another platform for a new story. We took the elevator to the first floor and I waited for the door to open. But strange, it was taking quite some time. I was suddenly jolted from my concern when my daughter pointed to the open door behind us ! It was an elevator which had doors on the opposite side. What a fool we must have looked with our backs to the door !

On going inside, we found our waiting number was even larger than could be imagined and so we waited patiently to get our things done. As soon as our turn came the lady at the counter closed down for lunch and all that we two could do was have our lunch too ! But hats off to the punctual lady who really did not take more than 12 minutes, was attending to our request and in a jiffy, we were off to do our first work; which hardly took another 15 minutes or so.

The whole experience lasted for 3 hours and by the time we were seated in the rickshaw for the ride home, I was happy that we had managed to overcome the hurdles that were put forth before us by Almighty Himself and jokingly I mentioned to my daughter, "Hey, we finished the test !" This brought a smile on my otherwise tired daughter and who was more excited about the completion of test rather than the procedure of government application.

On and on we went about the whole experience of crossing over all hurdles and finishing the race. God had indeed tested her patience. But once the 'test of patience' had turned to a race, things suddenly looked bright for my daughter, she was more happy to have won the race and come out victorious. This made me wonder 'How nice it is to look at things from another angle altogether ?' This race suddenly made problems in life more easy to deal with. Its not the difficulties that bother you down for another view is that they are the same difficulties that gave you the tide of victory.

Resemblance

2009-10-07T21:25:00.000-07:00

Most parents inadvertently want to hear that their child looks just like him or her. It goes without saying that even a one day old baby generates lot of talk on its resemblance to either the father or the mother. The baby shows many changes in the facial features and accordingly so do the views of others.

I was also a witness to this situation since the day my daughter arrived. Earlier, I felt happy to know that my daughter had taken after her father, but slowly, I started to long for someone telling me of the mother daughter similarity. I would dress up my daughter in lovely frocks and nice hair bands and beads and fancy shoes and so many other things; in return trying to find myself as a little girl, in my daughter.

Couple of years passed, my daughter dresses her dolls the same way that a mother would dress up her child. She has now started taking interest in drawing pictures of an 'all girl's band' and 'Hannah Montana'. Her ability at riding a two wheeled bicycle at the age of four really surprised us. She had the greatest gift of sweet talking her way through; she normally converses effortlessly with any person; old or young, shy or extrovert. With so much of personality asserting, our talk as parents shifted to what traits had our daughter inherited from which parent.

I remember an idle afternoon when again the topic of resemblance cropped up. This time I put my foot down to tell very clearly to my husband that my daughter resembled me although she looked like a father's daughter more. I went on to describe that her eyes were like mine and so on and so forth. My husband was in no mood to give up the argument. Looking at the two of us, my dear daughter pacified us both by her witty remark saying, "Oh, momma, I resemble Baba in face and I am just like you as a girl".

Listening to her very diplomatic reply, both of us burst out laughing. Hopefully, our arguments in this regard have been aptly put to rest. For more such arguments, I wish all the parents 'All the Best'.

I was worried about you !

2009-08-22T00:51:00.000-07:00

Late, one evening, I decided to go to the internet cafe for chatting with my husband. The little rain and damp weather could not weather me down, and so I went with an umbrella in my hand. My daughter was playing with her friends in the garden and so I went alone. She had wanted to come with me for chatting with her Baba, but I thought it better to let her play than make her sit before a computer.

It took me one hour at the cafe. In the meantime, I figured out that my in laws would stay at home and my daughter would be back from her play and be safe in the warmth of the house and grand parents. This assumption proved to be wrong as I later realized.

With these thoughts in mind, I walked briskly at home. The rain had stopped and the weather was cool. I noticed the kids playing in the garden. I did not see my daughter, maybe she was somewhere nearby. I went upstairs and found our house locked. Strange ! Who would want to go out in this weather? Any way, I unlocked the door and went inside and switched on the TV. The same time, I kept a watch on the kids still playing. Still no sign of my daughter. Worried, I went down again. One boy informed me that my daughter was with them till five minutes ago. So we searched in the approaching darkness. He also added that he saw my mother in law going out all alone. So my daughter was not with her too. All this increased my anxiety. We called out to her friends where there was a dance practice going on. The search yielded nothing.

By this time, quite a few people had got worried. So all the kids did the most practical thing. They called out my daughter's name again and again. And there she was!

Running fast like a deer, she came to me and hugged me. I could see some tears in her eyes and so I held her tightly in my arms. She clung to me and whispered softly in my ears, "Oh! Where were you Mom, I was so worried about you !"

And then I heard her side of the story. After her play, my daughter had come looking for me in the cafe and because I was seated in a corner, she did not see me in the cafe and so went back and stood guard near the gate. Unfortunately, we did not see each other when I came through the gate and kept on worrying for the other. At that moment, I realized how deeply concerned we were for each other. It was not just a mother worrying for her daughter, the daughter was also worried about her mother.

My daughter suddenly looked so grown up and mature.

Little hearts, Bigger ideas !

2009-07-30T21:34:00.000-07:00

"A clean slate is the best for writing and reading" And so is the child's mind for unraveling the original ideas. It is the reflection in its purest form, with no dust of streamlined thinking and no scratches of objective and subjective knowledge.

Its refreshing to know the ideas of a children. They see the world with their own view, they assess with their own understanding, they enjoy with their own enthusiasm; such is the beautiful world that it becomes difficult for them to comprehend an educated person's teaching.

It was on one such occasion of a mother daughter 'home work completion session' that I asked my daughter of a General Knowledge (GK) question from her book about God making whom as the most intelligent ? I had expected 'MAN' as the answer as per the writing or at the most hearing a joyous and mischievous 'ME' as the answer. But to my surprise, I heard 'GOD' as the prompt and straight forward reply. I was surprised and on giving it some thought, I realized that indeed, my daughter had said the right thing. God, if one believes in, is truly everything.

As a person, I do believe in a super power which I call as GOD. Although, I am not those religious kinds, I do have faith in the Almighty. Whether we follow the religious books or not, whether we tell ourselves of His existence, one thing that I am sure is that the universe is too big to comprehend and bringing uniformity in chaos and chaos in uniformity, does require His divine intervention. Trusting the intelligence and doing our duty unfailingly and with full dedication, benefits all and one.

Situations open your eyes and your mind and this incident of question answer session answered many questions unasked.

Bijjoo - Pluto Deshpande

2009-06-21T23:05:00.000-07:00

Winters in Baroda are a odd mix of chilly nights and hot days. It was on one such cool morning that I tried to find warmth in my sweater and a hot cup of ginger tea, that my Mom made for me. Lazily, I went to the veranda and took the morning newspaper lying near the gate. As I began reading, I looked over the fencing to see the commotion or rather a meeting of all the birds. Something was brewing as every bird had to say something to the other. A closer look found me staring at something brown furry thing. It was all curled around itself to escape the morning chill.

Curiosity made me go near it and to my surprise, I found a perfectly healthy golden brown coloured pup. I lifted it without fearing it or its mother, for there were no pups near our house to fear the wrath of their mother. The warmth of my hand and the sweater made the pup immediately take a liking to me and it made a soft noise as if to thank me for holding it. I took it inside the house and held it close to my mother. The pup nudged my mother with its wet nose and saw a startled look upon another member. My mother loves animals, so I had no problem of convincing her to let me keep it. Now the next step was my father; and the biggest shock was that he had no objection at all. By this time my sister also came out and was mighty pleased to see such a sweet little pup.

The first day saw the pup in an investigating mood, roaming the garden, the house and getting to know his new 'family'. We were no less at studying our little pup. It had a lot of weight and it would walk with an effort. Its ears were big and they would flap over his head. Its big black eyes were very friendly and would make anybody pick it up. Its paws were very big and it had perfect five claws on its perfect 4 legs. The only thing lacking was a name. My sister came up with the name Pluto because of its similarities with the original Walt Disney character. So Pluto it was !
Somehow, I could only say Bijju instead of Pluto. My mother would lovingly call it Ladoo. Whenever my mother would pamper Ladoo, he would be all on seventh heaven, he would smile and be all attention to whatever my mother said. During such times, me and my sister were treated as unimportant. Our pampering had no effect, since it was routine and was something that Bijju completely ignored. I would call him 'Joot Baye', an Indianised version to say 'Good Boy' and also because Bijju slept on a jute bag !

Another change that one can notice is that the 'it' changed to 'he'. Pluto was our family, and he also made us his family. Whenever we had family get-togethers, he would sit among us and listen with full attention. At times, I feel that he would comprehend all that was being said. Pluto understood Marathi ! He understood our joy, anger, sorrow and most important of all; he understood us. I also saw him ignore us when he wanted to laze and sleep. His personality and preference would always show.

My mother would make it a point to keep him chained in the garden for 30 minutes at least but you should see the ruckus he made. He would dig up so much earth near him that we had a free digger; the one who dug at all the wrong places ! When we sisters returned home in the evening he would want to be immediately set free and would also show us the dug up pit. I think he wanted to be treated like us.

During Navratri, a festival celebrated with lot of enthusiasm; who would want to miss out on the good traditional music and dance and being together with your own group; well, so during such late night events, Pluto would be awake, waiting at the door for us to come back. Normally, he would be fast asleep in the house not bothering to be the watch dog that we would have preferred. But during such occasions, he would be worried like any caring and worrying parent and his incessant barking would ensure that we returned well on time.

One incident stands out to prove how well Pluto considered himself a Deshpande. My sister had invited two friends over for some project discussion in the afternoon. She was having some late lunch downstairs when her friends arrived. My mother showed them in. All this while, Pluto was eyeing them squarely and so my mother asked them to make themselves comfortable in the upstairs room. The two friends casually asked Pluto to join them, and surprise of all ! Pluto was ecstatic at being asked for company and happily he went ahead of them to show them the way. He needed no introduction or assurance of their identity. We were all dumbfounded. Our little Bijju considered himself more of a human than a dog.

We had a very happy nice time with Bijju and his lovely antics. To this day, we still cherish our fond memories of him. I am sure he found his own place in the sky, the twinkling bright star still smiles down below at us. The star who considers itself not a celestial object but an angel to cheer us up when we need it the most!

Abnuma

2009-06-11T01:34:00.001-07:00

'Living in an independent house has its set of joys and sorrows.' So went the normal opinion about others who preferred other housing schemes. But my parents had a different view to it. My mother loved to have a garden, and that too a well maintained at that; my father saw to its cleanliness besides watering the plants. My sister and I would be of help only occasionally. But together, it made the effort worth it when the whole family enjoyed the company of nature; which included not just plants and trees but also animals, birds and bees.

Its true, we had quite a few wanted as well as unwanted visitors. Dogs would come to the house to enjoy the cool shade of trees in summer, dig earth in winters to enjoy the warmth and lay pups in the rainy season. Cats were too proud to do anything in the garden; they preferred to be indoors commanding our full attention. Squirrels too found the surrounding conducive for jumping from tree to tree and eating tender buds and ripe fruits. The birds would visit the small container of water to either drink water from it or have an elegant bath in it by spreading their wings and flapping it till some of their friends kept a watch for danger. And not to forget the bees, they had also found a niche for building their own understanding of a home ie the honeycomb.

This all suffices for the ideal description of our family and how we all stayed in perfect harmony. But one day, we had 7 additional sweet little guests. The dog had given birth to 7 pups; all precious and tender. We were overjoyed and ecstatic ! Our parents warned us not to be too involved for they were stray and would live by the laws of nature.

However, my attention was caught by an ugly looking though very healthy male pup. It was quite boisterous and active. Had it been good looking, it would have made a good home for itself. But God had other things in store for him. Most of these pups perish before they complete 8 months and nature was no good to this set too. The ugly looking pup had become more ugly due to malnutrition and all his brothers and sisters had died too. To add more to misery, one evening, it came with a profusely bleeding jaw; one could see that it was very hurt and would not survive the night.

The next morning, we expected a dead pup, but there it was; still lying on the ground with a bleeding jaw that clearly exposed the broken and missing teeth. Its sight made us wonder of who could be the perpetrator of such an inhuman act. The wound showed that it was hit with something big solid object. All that we could do was pray to God to have mercy and end its suffering.

The second dawn, with its bright reddish orange glow, brought us back in this world from our deep sleep. A walk in the garden, brought us to the place where the pup had slept last night, but hey ! the pup was missing. Where could it be ? 'Must have wandered to some other place to die' was all that we could think. But surprise of all surprise, there it was weak and tired sitting near the banana plants. We gave it milk to drink and although with difficulty, it drank most of the milk. The bleeding had stopped too. All that remained was a swollen jaw and a broken soul.

Slowly the pup regained its strength and against all odds, proved to be a winner in the race for living. The ugly pup had now metamorphosed into a healthy ugly dog. The dog, though looked abnormal with its half jaw missing, its one ear standing upright and another ear in horizontal position, the body and tail covered in long fur (unusual for an Indian breed) and the colour of the fur, a combination of white, brown and black. We lovingly called it 'Abnormal' which later turned to Abnuma.

My mother fed it daily and it started showing confidence in our family members, it allowed us to go near it, touch it. In turn it loved us dearly, for we were the only people who took kindly to it. It would guard our house with all its courage. I wonder if I should call it courage; for its broken soul had yet not healed. Abnuma was too much afraid of people all because of its jaw breaking incident. At times, it would not even bark, only look suspiciously at strangers. Strangers in turn looked at Abnuma with hesitation. The situation would become so funny that Abnuma was afraid of people and people were afraid of Abnuma for he did not bark and for the fact that 'Dogs that dont bark, BITE'.

Slowly, Abnuma started to go further than our house, he (the 'it' changed to 'he' with time) went a few houses down the street, then further more to the end of the street and then the whole society. This way, he gradually expanded his jurisdiction and made himself the boss of small dogs. True, he had little competition from other weak dogs, which helped him to survive. Whenever we called out his name, he would come running like a leopard, his hind legs crossing the front legs, his long hair all flowing in the air and bringing along with it, his long bushy tail. We watched with pride 'Our Abnuma', how magnificent he looked.

These are the most fond memories of our beloved 'Abnuma'. He lived a very normal life for many years to come and the best of all was that he showed us how a broken jaw or spirit can be fixed and life be made still more beautiful.

Abnuma contracted a skin disease when being treated for his ears, and gradually became weaker and weaker and finally had to be put to sleep to free him from his misery.

Theory Of Relativity

2009-06-09T22:07:00.000-07:00

Great, indeed is Albert Einstein to have formulated such mind boggling theories in Physics at a very nascent scientific age.

"Man's imagination in the beyond, his faith within and his ability to prove things is truly surprising and inspiring"

His gray hair and casual style are as confounding as are his scientific theories intriguing. One wonders of his day to day simplicity in living and his complexities in thinking. As a reader, I also savored most of the stories on him and his unpredictability. No wonder that most of his kindergarten teachers found the little boy not like other kids. Oddity can be a specialty or a disability; who can predict the potential within.

So many thoughts on the Greatness of a human being, came to my mind, but hey ! I need to keep my blog on track too. What interests me is the title ie Theory of Relativity. This title is also so much relative just like the theory itself. The theory speaks of the movement of objects in trying to explain the concept. Even my thoughts about this is in line with the actual theory but instead of the objects the focus for me is a person in two different situations.

I still remember the city I grew up in, the city with its familiar people; the daily vegetable vendors, the shopkeepers, the sweepers, our maid and not to forget my set of friends who made me define myself and my place in this world. I always cherish memories of having a 'cutting' chai and the spicy Indianised Chinese food along with my friends constantly discussing either the problems as faced by a teenager or the aspirations of the young generation. I also cannot forget the good parts of bad roads or the bad parts of good roads ! How traveling was enjoyed due to the good spirit and a longing for the 'yet to have'.

All this suddenly changed when after a decade, I stood all motionless in an 'unknown' part of the city that I so proudly call my home. The location was all same, but I was out of place. No familiar faces, no recognizable buildings, no friend to share the chai, no road having that familiar pothole; in short, nothing that I could relate to. The city had moved leaving me back in time. Only a select few people were there to actually make me understand the reference.

Standing there, watching the world go by made me realize that the people had indeed moved quite far ahead, I still remained a decade back. I surely was among the fast and moving person in the new city that I currently stay, but going back made me feel completely out of place. I was still living in a world that was 10 years old and people around me had reached a new destination in time.

This made me wonder whether Einstein's theory was any different. And frankly speaking just like the two objects, its people who either stay behind or move forward. Theory of Relativity is indeed a relative subject; at times talking of objects as subjects and some times talking of subjects as objects.

Me - The Driver, and He - The Instructor

2009-03-12T22:37:00.000-07:00

Different people have different phobias and lucky people have none. God surely knows how to come up with innovative phobias and make people name them. Luckily for me, He did not have to make a big effort. Like most women (let me exclude good and efficient women drivers), I had car driving phobia. For 33 years, I kept myself away from the driver's seat and was happy to be in the back seat, carefully trying to avoid my commenting on other drivers. Its not that I don't drive, in fact I drive to my place of work using a two wheeler, but driving a four wheeler was simply not my domain, or that is what I considered.

At times, I did try to imagine as the driver and came up with a smug feeling as to whether I was driving a car or the car was driving me ! Thats something quite fascinating. I am sure that all the scientists who engineered a 'driverless' vehicle got the idea from people like me.

But to cut the sorry state short, I had to learn driving if I wanted to be more independent in a foreign country, thats what my husband told me. I was simply afraid, its like asking a child to go in the dark and switch on the lights ! I was that child trying to run away from darkness, in the process forgetting to bring in the light. How true ! So many of us try to run away from our fear or our phobias and in the process, we also miss the better side. And I for one, did not want this to happen to me. I decided to grab the bull by its horn.

And so there I was holding the horn, oops the steering wheel of the car after duly completing all the enrollment formalities. I was told of my instructor, Ram by name. I was wondering if he would be those scolding types who would do me more harm than good. There he came, a short thin man with black thin sharp mustache, I would say not more than 30 years of age. I had a sinking feeling as I had a notion that all men with mustache were strict disciplinarian.

With a short crisp clear voice, Ram Sir, as I called him, repeated all the driving instructions; that I had already learnt in my theory class. I was the first student for the day starting at 7 in the morning, with a much lesser traffic and a cool breeze. But I was perspiring sitting with the driving wheel in my hand. But off I drove, taking a turn, putting the brakes, switching gears, looking in the rear view mirror, the list is endless; for all things require coordinated effort and I was enjoying it. I was happy that I DROVE the car, as I stepped out.

The next day proved to be quite good, I was able to take a U turn, change gears and then Ram Sir commented on the improvement. Next he asked me to park the car behind another car and apply the clutch and brake. The bumbling fool I was, I hit the accelerator instead. "Excellent !" was all that my instructor commented. This made me take a resolve not to commit the mistake again.

Who would know, I would invent other bumbling areas ? The next day saw me with a stiff steering wheel, to which Ram Sir coolly said that I need to let go off the wheel and let it steady itself. This made me take a resolve not to commit the mistake again.

Hopefully, I did well on the 4th day and Ram Sir asked me to take the fourth gear. "THE FOURTH GEAR?" Oh, I was nervous as hell. "So do you think the sound has changed ?" asked Ram Sir. "Yep, it does", was my quick reply to hide my ignorance of the effect of the gear. "Well, I have a sore throat!", said Ram Sir. "Hey ! I thought you were talking of the car......... " was all that I could mutter and see Ram Sir comfortably enjoying the joke. After that, even I could not control my laughter and driving further became more fun.

The fifth day proved me as a good student, but not one without faults. I had started getting used to listening to my teacher's instructions and acting accordingly. Ram Sir mentioned before a crossing to see the road and take a good judgement. I like a fool, simply started to see in all directions ! "Hey, you need to just take a view, not enjoy the view !", said Ram Sir. 'Very clever', I thought.

Writing all these humorous incidents, made me wonder of my instructor's role; 'Isn't God doing the same?', I thought. God lets you take your decisions and lead your life, but at the same time, it is He who gives us the directions. It is under His guidance that we take the course that we have already taken, the path that we have already travelled. At times, God puts a difficult situation before us and lets us react; at times he makes us laugh by allowing us to enjoy the journey; but the most important thing to remember is that He is there for us all.

My instructor taught me many things as far as driving is concerned, but the biggest thing that I learnt was trusting myself with the knowledge that GOD is there for me. The past few months had been difficult for me and my husband due to job pressure, but the driving lessons taught us to trust God and follow His directions.

Save for a rainy day !!

2009-01-28T22:11:00.000-08:00

The little girl in red and white frock, jumped in the puddle; with muddy water splattered all over her. The sweet smile and water dripping from her curly black hair, added to make the picture perfect. The rain also danced to her steps and the rain drops falling on the puddle, rose higher and higher to touch her and be close to the child and shield her from the wind; wanting to blow the clouds away.

My daughter's excited voice brought me back to my warm home. Her wide eyes showed delight and excitement at having got up from her afternoon sleep to find the rain and all the excited children dancing and playing on the ground below. The sweet smell of wet earth was still fresh in the house.

'Can I go out and play ?' asked my daughter, excitedly. And out she went on hearing a yes and seeing a smile on my face.

I watched my daughter and all her friends having a nice time in the rain, getting wet and splashing in the water and a different look on their face. Even the trees and plants sported a new look. The flowers were also dancing to the tune of the raindrops. The wet grass shone like a green carpet and the grass blades trying to stay afloat the rain water. The birds were all grooming themselves and having a bath, the animals looking silently at the rain.

The rains had finally arrived to the dry region and arrive they did with a full thunderous shower.

I hurried in the kitchen to make some hot pakoras. They are expected at such times and I could already get a faint smell coming from the kitchen belonging to my neighbour. My daughter would surely hurry up and ask for a plateful.

By the time, my work was done, it was already over 2 hours since the rain started. I sat down on the cozy sofa and looked out of the window. The kids were now collectively working out some game and trying to build a barricade to trap the water. I wished to go out and play with the children. 'What is it that stops me ?' I wondered.

I went down to call my daughter for some hot pakoras. She looked at me with water dripping and her face lighting up with joy. 'Come on Aai ', she called out to me and came running towards me, to hold my hand and drag me into the cool and happy moments of getting drenched with water and mud and the joy of playing in the puddle.

All the kids gathered and around and we all played 'Ringa ringa...'The happiness was manifold and made me realise that I would rather save my mature behaviour for a rainy day than miss this joy away!

The Mirage

2009-01-06T23:39:00.000-08:00


My grandpa once told me of a golden deer,
      running here there and everywhere;
Thought he saw water near
      Alas ! who would tell of the imaginery well nowhere.

Years passed, I grew big and strong
      My father told me of his animals and fields;
At the farm I felt the days short and nights long,
      I worked hard and realised my dreams.

I am a man now and living in luxury
      I have people working for me
And have nothing to worry ?
      Is it really? For I am rich only by money.
 
The market holds the cash in stacks,
      The banker boasts of lending so many.
The Bull and the Bear each patting on the backs
      Why am I standing so lonely ?

I dream to go away and own a farm
      How I remember my grandpa's words so warm !
'Aye my child ! The deer is safe in the foliage'
      'Alas !' I say, this is just a mirage.

Where am I ?

2008-12-15T01:15:00.000-08:00

It is indeed a good experience to see Jackie Chan's movie. Most of them are full of comical fights and quick apt reactions. "Who am I", is one such movie that gave a similar enjoyable experience and made me go thinking of the title of the film and its relevance in today's world. So many a soul have wondered about the word 'I' in the title.

Indeed it is food for the mind to understand one's existence in this world, the purpose and the destiny that each has in store. So many articles have been written on soul, mind, self, God, destiny; indeed its human nature to question the real and accept the surreal. Man's existence lies in the fact of his ability and readiness to question himself. Nature has made such a wonderful creature ie a human and endowed superior qualities like intelligence(confirm with call center professionals' list of stupid questions), ability to adapt (ability to create hostile situations too!), ability to question self evaluate(examinations losing their credibility); the list can go on.

At this junction, I feel blessed just to study the environment or surrounding around me. 'Where am I?', is in fact a relevant question for me given the current times and things happening in the world. Its not just about the bombs exploding and killing innocent people, its more than that; its something to do with trying to terrorise the human mind and prodding it to distrust the other soul. What good will come out of all this distrust? Man is driving the economy or is the economy driving the man? Aren't we running after the stock market, which probably is after just a market; a place to shop but not stop. I am sure it is not going to take care of mother nature or our future generation.

Why is it that along with the distrust and no clear destination for mankind, do we still continue to keep our eyes closed to the real truth? Only HE knows.

Our daily needs have no limit and we keep on craving for more and more. Our grandparents lived in a different era where men and women had different roles in the family and society. Their needs were basic and they craved for more; this was achieved successfully by the next generation, our parents. Indeed they had all that their parents had and to top it all they also managed to get more materialistic things. But their wants did not end there, they left the seed of wanting more in their children. Did we not get all that our parents had and tried to do even better by having still more materialistic comforts ? Are we not facing the problems of exercise and obesity ?

The problem of dissatisfaction still remains, only its nature changes. We are still in want of something. What is this something ? Is it materialistic comforts or is it physical well being or is it the spiritual well being ? None as an individual can take us to the destination, and to make matters worse, we don't know what is the destination and the journey. Saints have come and gone and spoken about the combination of all the three does lead to salvation. Our mind is too small to understand the true meaning of salvation, but doing our bit in keeping our mind, body and soul rejuvenated, is what leads to true happiness.

The journey that we undertake is what defines who we are, where we are. Let the journey be the destination and not a means for the final destination. 'Where am I ?' is not a question asked by a person who is lost, it is rather for a person who wants to go somewhere.

The two Pigeons

2008-12-01T21:11:00.000-08:00

I really wonder the way Pune looked 15 years ago; I had heard of people wearing sweaters in summer mornings and the winters being chilly and the landscape near the city was lush and green. Thats what I heard, never saw; for I came to Pune when the economic growth of people and Pune was on the upswing and the city was witnessing a drastic change; a change not only in the weather but also the culture. I still remember the summer vacation that my aunt invited me and my sister to her new home and what a cool and green pune city was !

Times change and so do people and so do situations ! I am now happily married and settled in my own house in Pune. My husband is a 'cosmopolitan naturalist', he manages to keep greenery around him by using potted plants. Our little daughter is no less; she brings her muddy feet in the house and loves to knead the mud instead of the flour. In addition to these two, our house is warm and inviting; be it friends or neighbours or the two pigeons who have made the bathroom window, their home.

Every morning, I can see their silhouettes

Against the window, and at day break,

They fly in the open inviting, bluish orange sky.

They come back now and then

To rest on the window till refreshed again.

Once or twice, I have observed

Only one bird sits on the abode

Not because the other lost its way

But because it was busy till the whole day.

Working towards finding two square meals

It flew away farther than the hills,

Isn't this what we are facing in our life ?

Letting life slip by when we are toiling all the while?

On our way to glory,

how many of us do worry,

About the missed togetherness

and the cherished close tenderness !

Am I not the pigeon and waiting

for the other to come home?

With so many thoughts, you can well imagine that the life has become complex indeed ! The green pastures are now replaced by dark roads and a concrete junlge stands in between. What refreshes me the most is the existence of nature, though scattered. Do we not take efforts to have the greenery around us? Thats because we feel a part of nature. The desire to be a part of the whole eternity and our longing for togetherness with nature. Its very refreshing to see the birds flying daily out of their homes in the morning and coming back in the evening.

My window friends give a whole new dimension to me and my husband's relationship, our home, our flying in and out of the house and cherishing the togetherness.

A knight in shining armour

2008-10-24T22:45:00.000-07:00

Trekking is an activity that is enjoyed by most and talked of by the rest. A visit to Bhimashankar is indeed very enjoyable in the rainy season, when you see puddles and toads and slippery roads! Nature is at its best with lush green grass, wet green trees, green toads and green algae and the smell of wet earth and the sounds of running water and the list goes on.

It was on one such trip that I noticed my husband's enthusiasm for trekking and exploring nature. He had mentioned it previously too but this was the first time I got to see the sparkle in his eyes when we were literally walking on clouds, the spring in his walk when we were walking on nature's carpet, the slurpy sound that he made while drinking hot tea and the increase in his appetite not for food but for taking in the fresh air and explaining all feelings to his wife and daughter.

Though the day saw clouds descending and ascending, we had enough visibility to see 10 feet of our surrounding and off we all went to the climbing down mountain activity; man-child-woman. For a child, nothing is as interesting as a walk on stones, pebbles and mud and touching everything in the way to see how it feels. Our daughter gathered so many precious stones that it looked more of a geological trip. And who would be the best person to carry the load? Of course, her father!

The three of us made our way down the zig zag path snaking down. We could not exactly see the destination, but in my husband's words, we were on the right track. He was more worried about having to take care of two inexperienced trekkers rather than the poor visibility due to clouds. Our daughter was the most daring person, leaving no scope for destination definition, she went down further and further, forgetting the fact that the climb up was yet to start.

And when it started, there was no stopping, we three went climbing up and up for we could only see the tall trees and the wind blowing at the clouds, I wonder if this can indeed be described as being on cloud nine ! My husband, walking ahead of us and leading, would stop to see our progress and except for one patch of the climb, everything was fine. At that patch, our leader picked up the little girl and put her on better grounds, hey! but what about me. I got worried. And there it was, a strong, firm hand coming towards me and ready to pull me up.

Oh! what a moment ! I truly felt like a lady who was being asked by the prince to hold his arm and be pulled up on the horse. My husband had suddenly turned a knight in shining armour and quickly enough, I grabbed his extended arm and was pulled up a steep incline. My expression in the eyes changed and the world appeared even more beautiful. Quickly the three of us ran for the top and get a glimpse of the world below. Once there, we could see the clouds running, making me wonder, whether we were all competing or synchronizing the run?

Nature has its own ways of unfolding situations before us. And I got to see my husband in a different light even on a cloudy and foggy day. Things will always be the same, but the way we see them, will keep on changing.

A bird in bush is two in hand !!

2008-10-22T01:16:00.000-07:00

I am sure you find the saying not correct, but I have purposefully written it for a situation when I heard strange noises coming from the children's bedroom. They sounded like some animals quarelling or a new instrument playing or most probably a new mobile ringtone. With a perplexed mind, I went to see if my daughter was upto some prank or enjoying somebody else's prank.

And there she was making some interesting noises and looking out of the window; window which overlooked the potted plants and a beautiful garden of lush green lawn and a very serene marble temple. Curious, I went to her to enquire about the significance of these beating of vocal chords. I was happily given an answer that this was for the purpose of calling out so many birds to come and sit on the window sill and talk to her. And for inviting these birds, she was making so many types of noises.

This was quite a revelation to me. I had never thought of inviting birds by calling out to them near a window. And the stranger thing was yet to come. In one of the potted plants stood one paper parrot that my child had made in her craft class. She was using this piece of art as a bait to attract birds and sit on the window sill and to make the effect of bird, authentic, she was making noises imitating all possible varieties of birds !

So much planning done for the sole purpose of having a birdie friend. It made me wonder about the original English proverb of having a bird in hand is equal to two in the bush. We tend to forget what we have and start looking at something which is indeed there but has its own freedom too! At times, we should be only admiring the freedom of such beings and appreciate the fact that happiness comes from feeling free. Take away the freedom and we are faced with sadness and suffocation.

Things in nature are to be admired not desired.

And here is my daughter, trying to befriend her nature friends by using an artificial bird and noises to have one such bird and coming and singing with her. Indeed, the purpose of this activity is having a bird friend and not owning it.

My child is also like a bird, having the freedom to choose and express her thoughts and the best that I can do as a parent is only admire and respect her way of expressing her feelings and not strangle them.

The Purple Eyed Man

2008-10-20T00:28:00.000-07:00

Many a times I wonder, about the programmes on television for children, whether indeed the cartoons are kids or grown ups as cartoon kids !! The amazement turns to anger when I see innocence lost and spirit nipped in programs such as shin chan, Ben 10, Conan etc. It also makes me realize that more is yet to come.

The other day, my daughter was since evening talking about "Are you afraid of the dark?", a program which only explores your deepest fears, but causes much of an impact on the developing mind. It was because of one such story that my little one had a nightmare of a purple eyed man chasing her. She woke up at night and tried to find her mother. I was not aware of my daughter's state and the purple eyed man. But she was so clear, she told me her nightmare and all I could see was some purple colour in the dark and my mind still unclear as to the talk going on between us.

I held my dear one close to my heart and she slept peacefully in the cocoon of my embrace. That moment, I felt so much at peace; to see my child safe and breating deeply and happy to be near her mother. The purple colour no longer appeared to be the villain in my child's life, it was more of only a colour; colour that adds life to a painting, gives vibrancy to the other colours.

The morning came with yellows and orange hues;
and then the sky got blue.
What I remember is the colour Purple
for it brought me closer to my little girl.

The purple eyed man is nowhere to be seen;
he was afterall existing only within.
He left when it was morning,
leaving the two of us laughing !

The incident made me think, that in life the fear is only within. Why then do we try to find the world ie outside as the source or cause of misery. It is not that the world is black or white, it has shades of grey too, but what I like most is taking in the colours that are here there everywhere. And on second thoughts, I realized that maybe my daughter missed her father who was away from home for some work. What a menifestation of insecurity!

Have we ever thought of the purple eyed man? Does he not see the colour purple everywhere? In fact he sees the world differently than we do. And don't forget that there are three 'truths'; one is your truth, second is my truth and the third is the real truth. So how can we judge the purple eyed man? He only represents a fear that lies within us. If ony we could do away with our fears ! How nice would it be to enjoy the strengths that each and every individual on this earth possesses ! All of us will be happy indeed to put ourselves to good use and cause.

Television or technology is here to stay, what I can do is let only the impressions of colours make way.

Diamonds are a Girl's best friends

2008-09-30T20:43:00.000-07:00

One day, over a cup of hot ginger tea, I sat with myself beside me, all quiet and the distant sound of a vehicle or so. How happy I felt to talk to myself !! This solitude came not because of lonliness but because of a bad throat infection which left my vocal cords all useless. Not a word could I utter ! People found it funny, I found it to be a tonic, not for my body, but my soul. Such thoughts came to me when I suddenly realised that even a friend is a tonic to your confidence, ego, mind and so many things that just you can share with a friend.

No childhood goes without a friend, you are together to fight, play, fool others, play pranks, enjoy, share your ideas and fantasies and so many things. Such friendships are so close to your heart, you will share everything later on also when you accidentally meet your childhood friend. I have been blessed to have so many friends who helped me grow and helped me to fight even if it meant fighting with the friend !! I recall such days as they gave me a good foundation to stand on my feet and see the world not only with the amazement like that of a child but also with the so called 'maturity' of a young woman.

"Situations change and so does time,
friends come and go with love still there in the heart of thine. "

Time spent in the college with a new found set of friends is so cherished. Whether it is bunking classes to go to see movies or sharing a plate of uttappa, going to the library for the purpose of studies and ending up chatting with your buddies, preparing for study notes together and fighting over the subject with each other, such things are what constitute the colourful college life. I still enjoy and smile when I recall these memories.

Even after taking up a responsible job, tendency of humans to bind and socialise hardly diminishes, the circle of friends always increases, instead of sharing the uttappa, we share thoughts over a cup of tea, instead of bunking classes, we strain our glasses (spectacles).

So many facets of a person get polished over a period of time that the personality shines. A diamond is nothing but a stone, it gets picked up and polished to reveal the true colour, clarity, cut, carat and this is what leads to the cost. A person who has got his facets of the personality polished is like a diamond, so precious not because of self but because of all the friends who made him so valuable. Every soul touches so many other souls to become more and more polished and in turn also help polish the other.

'Diamonds are a girl's best friends' is indeed true, not for the precious stones but for all the souls who have her a strong person to shine in this world.

The day I was born…..

2008-08-21T02:45:00.000-07:00

The day I was born…..

Many a soul have wondered on this thought when they reminiscise about themselves, their achievements, their childhood……the list can be endless. So many wonder ‘I am so lucky…..’ , ‘The world is so lucky….’; even I have had this thought on all my daughter’s birthdays.

I still vividly remember the pain that started around three in the early morning, the LABOUR pain. I had been so worried about being able to recognize pain as labour pain, and there it was!! No woman would have any doubts about this pain being the one. And there I was, in so much hurry to go to the hospital! At that time, there was only one thought, “once I am in the hospital, my pain will be more manageable and my baby will come to me. So lets hurry to the hospital”. And needless to say, don’t ever argue with a woman in such a situation. My dad, one of those peculiar dads, the ones who get worried but don’t know what to do; started cleaning the car at four in the morning. Till then, my mother and mother in law were discussing about the frequency of contractions. Here I was in pain and all my dear ones were irritating me further.

At last! We reached the hospital and the room and I was hopeful of seeing my baby quickly, but then the doctor too had her say about the time and all I could do was remember the advice of others and the books and keep my cool.

Luckily for me, my pain ended at about 8 in the morning when I saw my daughter and heard her sigh. But what worried me was that she was not crying. Don’t they show in all held her upside down and patted her back, but no sound. Then it started, music to my ears and relief to the doctor. I think the first cry of the baby is the best, later on it turns to jazz.

Six years passed, with every year showing a different side to my daughter. Her father is completely in her hands. That must be true for all fathers. My parents have always been there for me and my sister, no matter what reason and season.

I took up a job and my in laws are always there for my daughter to hold her, to wipe away her tears, to tell her a story, to hear her stories and talks, to see her dance, to teach her, to show her the rainbow, to let her play in the rain and so many things that only a child can make the grand parents take to becoming a child once again.

A few days back, when my daughter came home after playtime, I went to her with the apple in my hand so that she would be happy. But what !! the daughter I knew, who was me, myself, suddenly and rudely turned me away. I retreated without a word with hurt in my eyes quite visible. My daughter immediately saw my reaction to her action and felt so bad at having done this to me. She came running behind me and pleaded with me with different valid reasons, her apologies all brimming and bursting from the corner of her eyes. I was distraught myself and my hurt too was about to spill over. We both hugged each other and held each other close. All hurt and remorse was washed away. I was so happy that my daughter had shown such courage and understanding to accept her bad behavior and realize her mistake and also to make her mother understand her.

We both became ‘friends’ again.

The incident made me realize that cutting the umbilical cord does not separate the mother and the baby; the bonding still remains; what is it then that separates the two?

It is the longing for individuality.

A mother who brings and nurtures a child in this world, a father who provides a shade for the child to grow till he is ready to face the sunlight, grand parents who provide the necessary water and rainbows; and friends who make you stand taller and more confident; all contribute to the building up of a personality.

I am so happy to see us all together and together we see a child becoming an individual.

Well, ‘the day I was born….’ is not the day that my mother gave birth to me; it is not the day that I gave birth to my daughter; it is the day that I see my daughter becoming more independent, more mature, more caring, more understanding and above all; moving from a daughter to an individual. It is so beautiful and joyful to see your baby grow. Your baby who was you, yourself, a part of you and the love you share with your better half.

I am Magnificent

2008-07-07T01:36:00.000-07:00

I am Magnificent

Standing tall on the mountainous slopes of the Konkan region, I breathe with pride the fresh air and the warmth of the newly watered soil. The first rain has been a boon for me and my baked and cracked skin. Ah! Those hot summer days! They send a shiver down my spine. Birds around me would be so happy in the mornings to welcome the sun and a new day but by midday, they would all retire in their cozy nests, away from the sun’s glare.

I have no other place to go except to be on the slopes, holding the soil in place and watching the day break and sun set. No other similar friend in the vicinity to talk to me and hear me talk of my thoughts.

“I long to go out and play,
and sway my arms to the music, all day.
How I wish I could also jump with joy
and run like the lanky boy. “

The Konkan Express passes me by everyday. The train is such an elegant piece of man’s creation! With such dignity and majestic stature, the train breezes past the landscape, bringing life to all and I swell with pride just waving at it. That’s life. Life is indeed strange, I can only stand and wave!

What is it that pulls me down? Why not I climb mountains and cross the rivers? The greens and browns are sure for me, but why not I wish for the reds and blues of thee?

It is only when something holds me for support and climbs up and up, that I feel happy to have lent support. It is only when something grows near me that I find a friend and a companion. I am indeed happy to have them and the trains moving past me everyday. They whistle and huff and puff and I feel lucky to be there waving at so many passengers.

Life is indeed beautiful and I am also a part of it. So many souls look around to get a glimpse of the beautiful landscape and exclaim in delight, “wow! Such a magnificent tree!” Yes. Indeed I m the big and beautiful tamarind tree. Kids love to come and have the sour fruit. I bear with dignity their attempts at getting the fruit. Its so nice to feel wanted and at the same time want all to come to me, build homes on my branches and sing to the world. Mother nature has always been fascinating to me.

It’s all in the mind.…..

2008-07-07T00:08:00.001-07:00

It’s all in the mind.…..

I am always apprehensive when I am about to visit places where I have been before. It is a feeling that is hard to describe. One is happy to go to such a place as it refreshes your pleasant memories associated with it and deep within the feeling of being what one was before, surfaces in the turbulent mind. Turbulent mind – because one has lot of expectations related to meeting the same set of people or the same places, confusion related to others expectation of you, whether some other person will recognize you or not. Such emotions well up only due to the changes that a person has witnessed within as well as in the outside world.

With such thoughts, I made my way down to the majestic building. I looked around to see all the familiarity and then the grand gate stood before me. How nice! I had not expected this, what a pleasant surprise! Ah, there were a few changes that I could see once inside. It suited the overall environment. All the vehicles were orderly arranged which was something rare before.

I stepped inside the porch and the carvings on the wall called out to me. ‘Still the same’, I thought. The bats had made such niches their home and once or twice you could also see the other birds. The smell of years old dust was still there. My anxiety was laid to rest. I felt happy to be in familiar territory. The tiles were broken at a few places more than I remember, had to happen with so many enthusiastic youngsters walking down the aisle everyday, day after day.

The summer season had done its duty of reaching to the darkest corners and making all the possible corners, free of bacteria. The rains would surely take care of washing down all the things, be it trees or buildings or roads. The winter will also ensure to make its contribution, by giving warmth to all. Indeed its not just warmth, its much more. Leave aside the seasons, it’s the colour within that comes because of so many dedicated and familiar people.

The MS University of Baroda, is what I have been talking of. Ah! There is Anjali Ma’am and I am relieved that she recognizes me. She has changed since I last saw her as a student, with some more weight and straight hair, she is looking great. I found HJP Sir sitting in his cabin and reading some books, as expected.

There are few things and situations that never change or rather you don’t expect them to change. You feel at home only because you find them the way you expected them to be. Isn’t this what we always feel? I missed you all when I went to MSU. I could see us all sitting on vehicles in the parking lot and felt like going to myself and say “did you miss me?”

Ghoom Barabar Ghoom

2008-07-06T23:59:00.000-07:00

Our Trip : Ghoom Barabar Ghoom

The idea of going independently on a tour was so fascinating that plans started to take a concrete shape even before we realized it. The discussion ranged from a shopping list to what one would be actually wearing and doing. No stone was left unturned as to the activities which would entertain us. It may not be wrong on part to say that our group enjoyed talking nineteen to the dozen.

Frantic phone calls between the group members as to the amount of luggage and that too ‘smart’ luggage preoccupied our thoughts and the amount of discussion and interest ensured that we were on our way; for now at least to the railway station. Indeed, the Vadodara railway station has such a grand look, one feels invited; feels as if we need to go and travel.

The Dehradun Express, a train which takes a very long time but was very convenient for our group. The morning of 18th Dec saw a very busy time for 10 families to see their children on the tour. Can you imagine, younger siblings giving advice to the older ones!!

The bright lights of the oncoming train filled our hearts with excitement and as the rolling wheels of the train stopped, time stopped!! Our bogie was nowhere in sight. Surely there must be some mistake.

“arrreee… who S2 toh wahan hai, ekdum last” called Vijay, our friend.

This sentence created a hectic activity among at least 25 people who started to rush. The number of people to see us ‘off’ was more than the actual travelers.

Everybody got in but now the train would not budge. Satisfaction is rare. If the train does not come, it is a problem. If the train comes and you don’t it’s a big problem. But when the train does not move when you are seated, it sure means wishing ‘goodbye’ every 2 minutes!!

I always say ‘tata..ta…..ta..’ when leaving but this time Aai(mother) got so fed up that my parents left before the train could leave the platform. Even Sheetal was supposed to report for her work. She did all the packing and I hope I’ll remember where she has kept what. Even her list is very complicated. “Bring me dry mehendi coloured bandhani saree” said she and the other day she showed me another brown shade.

“Hmmm ..ph” !! people and their idea of shades.

Shefali’s sister came after her birthday bash and examinations. See Mona’s sister, giving her last minute instructions of not eating anything ‘baharwala’ or talking to strangers. Those “what would my big sister do without me” was all I read in those 3; Sheetal, Sonu and Vasudha. These 3 sure make a flock.

Only Poonam scores in case of bossing. I whish I had a sister like Mili – so cute and obedient or may be the grass is greener on the other side. Poonam felt so much of responsibility, she came 45 minutes early, may be because we are going to stay at her home.

All of us had prepared very well for the journey. Proper blankets and snacks would surely see us through. But at what time was the train going to start? Wasn’t it late already?

Ah, the movement of the train and we were moving. ‘Bye Goodbye…’ so it went. We were laughing and having fun when we decided to play a game where any word related to computers is to be told. This was invented by Lavanya, the ever bright and her own self person. she always joked about how her father was burdened with a child like her. She sure had the ability to laugh at herself.

The game was obviously being dominated by the Java people, NT (Neerav Thakkar) and Lokesh. NT wouldn’t lose a chance to win and Lokesh would always find some out of the blue solution. Poonam and Lavanya stuck to their C++ concepts and Shefu and myself explored VB for carrying on the game. But where was Nimit?? Peacefully sleeping! Wonder what had got into him. Some problem, I suppose he is those types who do not believe that talking lessens your problems. I hope he is his normal self again, after all a tour without his soul would be the worst thing.

And look at Neerav Shah (Dada), with eyes closed and ears all attendtion, he would give us some solution. But dada has not sense. He sleeps with his spectacles or may be he wants to see clearer dreams. I heard wearing coloured lens makes your dreams of that colour. God!! And my doctor advised me to remove the lens before going to bed. What confusions!!

The game ended finally and we played Antakshari for some time, before one of the passengers offered us a tabla as back ground music. Must say it was a “musical dabba”. In between, we had many singers and dancers with the asbestos as their musical instruments.

By the way, after the breakfast of bread, jam, butter, we had revitalized our energy and it showed in ur next game of continents. Then came the delicious spicy pulao brought by NT. Remember, those ants in Africa which devour anything that comes in their path. You could say the same about us.

Sitting here in Ratlam, I can already feel my stomach’s demands. Poonam, Shefu, NT, Nimit are standing on the platform or on steady ground and I am writing this sitting in the train and hearing my stomach. Lavanya and Mona are sleeping peacefully and Purvi is writing her own diary not allowing me to read y own to others lest our thoughts get mixed up.

19th December, 1999

Wonder the amount of food we can eat! No limit. We finished off sandwiches, pulao, puri bhaji, tea, chikki etc in one day.

Today’s day dawned with a refreshing smile on everybody’s lips except Shefu, who was on the verge of crying because we woke her up. Ha..ha..ha….

Mona had threee cups of tea in less than half an hour and I had two. Lavanya got up at 9:00 blabbering about some ‘blue box’. I think she might be dreaming about her won blue sweater. NT had some problem sleeping; could be because of no blanket or the torch and lens case kept near him. To top it all he brought a ’20 brushing toothpaste’ which was given to all to check the 20 times theory. Wow! Such generosity at the cost of proving his theory or was it the other way round?

Neerav was the sleeping beauty of the group with a sleeping bag and Poonam’s jacket and Mona’s slippers. He is those ‘udharu types’, Lokesh the ‘fireman’ and Nimit the ‘Sherlock Holmes’ types with his unique cap.

Poonam has now asked Lavanya to keep silent for 45 minutes. Now there is no fun without her chatter, but thankfully I am getting time to continue with my writing. Everybody else is also quiet and poor me, I am quiet and busy writing. Nevertheless our group is a very good mix of all types, the silent, the chirpy, the naughty, the enthusiastic, the smart and what not; all have a special place in my heart.

With 4 of our group playing Crazy 8 and Napolean, the others passed time chatting and soon there was time for Shefu’s thepla which were over in no time. Then the chips and popcorn were done away with.

Suddenly, there was a change in the scenery, with Dehradun approaching, the air became more and more pure and the trees and flowers increased and most of all, our spirits rose. I hope I don’t sound like ‘the dead rising’

The train screeched to a halt at 6:00 pm and Uncle and his friend, Mr Goel were at the station who were simply surprised at the amount of luggage we were carrying. Anyway, the 10 of us with 26 bags managed to squeeze ourselves in 2 cars (the WinZip facility as they say).

A refreshing snack of freshly baked pastries and namkeen and adrak ki chai added a pink colour to our cold nose and cheeks. By 9:00, everybody had had a bath and felt warm and snug and dinner was the best part. Aunty’s rajma was too good with steaming rice and salad and pickle.

21st December, 1999

As planned on 20th, the sumo arrived on time at 8:00 am and we were all to go to Mussoorie. Confusion starts at the beginning and that is what happened. Getting ready then having a breakfast, not to mention the constant chatter, Uncle and Aunty managed to see us off by 8:30 am. So far, so good.

The first place of visit was the lake where many of us were feeling giddy. But the boating in the lake made everybody feel fine. Everybody was taking photographs of somebody or we were just banging into each others boats and shouting and then came the time to alight from the boat. Shouts of ‘oh, the waters so cold’, ‘it’s too deep’, ‘there are aquatic plants’ filled the air.

The next stop was at Kempty Falls where water turns into milk and flows though mountains by cutting them and carving a path of its own. The splash of water, the feel of water droplets on our face because of the fall, gave such a nice feeling; we took photographs and then moved towards our sumo.

The next destination was the company garden which very few people were interested to see so we moved to Mussoorie Mall. The shops in Mussoorie were nice, there was the roadside painting hawker who prices each painting at 1200/-. Too much!! Then there were woolens and softies. Lavanya and myself purchased the same sweater at 150/- and then the rest bought 11 sweaters or jackets of the same type for themselves or their friends.

Poonam, Lavanya and myself went till the end of the mall and walking back was a big effort. The chill was biting and piercing and at that time, Harish’s words rang in our ears – “you will need to wear 3 sweaters in all”.

23rd December, 1999

The first day when we did not see the dawn, and slept tile 9:30 am was a very normal day to be explored. Reading the ‘The Times of India’, in the filtering sunlight, sitting on the chair was a very warm experience in the chilling cold.

A heavy breakfast at 11:00 and a Vikram to Paltan bazaar found us in the bargaining market of Dehradun. The whole length of the street was colourful with this and that and one wished to buy some of this and that.

Purvi started off for her windcheater. I was trying to locate a saree blouse for my mother. Lavanya was trying hard to pass time and appear interested in others. Poonam had decided to stay with her mother. Shefu had made good bargains regarding her own shopping list. And what about Nimit, NT, Lokesh and Neerav? Busy in finding a gift for Poonam and Lokesh, each was running here and there trying to get the best bargain.

Such confusion ruled over us that each was going in a different direction. In this scenario, Nimit was sitting quietly, eating a pastry in front of Gaylords. We all gathered around Nimit and Purvi asked Neerav to try on her wind cheater.

“There’s a fault with this piece” said NS. One should have seen Purvi’s wide eyed surprised face. See her quick footsteps and see others concerned look. What to oversee and what not, so LG and myself went to some other part of the street.

After some time, Shefu, Purvi, LG and me had Chinese. I wonder if it was Chinese Chinese or Punjabi Chinese? All Punjabi masala and no garlic ginger paste, made it taste different.

Wonder of wonders! While going towards Gaylords, we met the gift searching party with a good proposal of telephones. Anyway, we were least interested in the technical portion and so having left the selection procedure(comes often as one appears for campus interviews) to this group, we went to Gaylords for a hearty snack of pastries. Ooh, the delicious pastries, chocolate, pineapple etc ; all were mouth watering. And damn cheap too! Unlike Baroda.

“Let’s go to the fancy store” called Poonam, our guide and host. “You are sure to get nice sweaters”

And off we went.

I selected a sweater for Baba and so did Shefu. Purvi went for a cardigan for her mother. Lokesh was busy selecting from the kids wear for Gudiya, his niece. That done, we realized we had no time sense; no time table to stick to. It was already 6:30 well past 4:30 when we were supposed to visit the computer division at ONGC. Anyway, we always enjoy shopping and bargaining.

This is life; eat, sleep, shop and enjoy!

At night after a dinner of hot chhole and rice, we again carried on with our ‘group discussion’. “Trrrr iingg…..” rang the telephone. It was Mona, telling us to pack her bags for her to travel to Jaipur. She would jin us later. What a mess. Each had enough on oneself and then to carry something extra. Oh no, so the whole burden was shifted to LG only because both were project partners.

24th December, 1999

Alas! The day to leave Dehradun arrived. Our plan was to go to Jaipur by a bus. But there was no organization on part of the travelers. Few were ready well on time but then what about the others on the other side? Hah. Dressing, eating, talking, hurrying, shouting, packing all at once! Uncle and Auntie made us hurry so as to catch the bus and reach Delhi on time.

The us journey was peaceful, except for half an hours traffic jam. Our bus also failed and all men had to get down and ‘maaro dhakka’. They huffed and puffed and then the bus budged and rolled and was thus started.

After some time, we reached Cheetal Grand, a resort worth watching and being watched at that place. The place is too good. The flowers, the music, the people, the ‘mahoal’ was just out of this world. There was a cage for birds who where eating so much grain that they looked obese.

We reached Delhi at around 3:30pm and went straight to Bikaner House to catch a bus to Jaipur. After the reservations, it was time to have some lunch at the Dhaba opposite to the Bikaner House.

The bus journey in Silverline was too silent except for the seats at the back.