Thilla and Jacky

The first house that my parents purchased after shifting to a new city, was on the outskirts of the developing city. It was one among a cluster of row houses as a part of housing colony. Beyond the boundary were paddy fields and mango orchards. Peacocks and cats were a part of the flora and fauna. These cats made their way to the comfort of the row houses and people like us who considered them Gods. And indeed one such beautiful fluffy black & white cat chose to move into our home.

The male cat was too beautiful and elegant to suit us. We named him Thilla - which does not mean anything in any Indian language but the name does create awe whenever called out aloud. Our family being a simple middle class family, showered him with attention and love and pampered him. He would visit us during the afternoon and early morning for a well deserved cozy nap. He was a very docile cat with an enviable fur and black & white color. Our home would  look fashionable and royal due to his very presence. 

One day Thilla brought home another small kitten. We suppose the kitten must have been lost and Thilla being very gentle and caring towards small animals, brought the kitten home. We named the kitten - Jacky. At first it was an elder brother and younger brother relationship which turned to friendship. They would live in our home, together; play together; eat together and stay together. For idling away their time, both the cats loved to occupy their favorite spot in the jasmine bushes in the garden during the warm summer days. The cool shade and wet earth near the plants, provided the much needed respite from heat and the boon of looking lazily at the tired though alert birds. We all loved to watch them watching the birds !

When the school would reopen, my friends got to hear of all the escapades my cats provided us with. Their funny antics, enthralled us all. My friends looked forward to our narration and I eagerly looked forward to getting up in the morning to the meowing sound of my two pets. After returning home from school, Thilla and Jacky, would have my undivided attention. After showering them with love and kitty talk, only then would I be allowed to carry on with my activities. During winters, these two would prefer to sleep cozily in our warm beds rather than roam the garden or sit night watch near the jasmine bushes.

Thilla and Jacky had a very unique bond. Each would look out for the other and if need arose, would not think twice before taking care of each other. Their loud meowing would scare any competitor. They would climb on windows, parapets, trees and sheds; all to mark their territory. And though Jacky was the younger of the two, he showed more courage in warding off any dangers. Thilla on the other hand, was large in size but soft in his heart. He would pick up a fight only as the last resort.

Once, Jacky strayed quite far into the wilderness beyond the housing colony and did not return. We missed him a lot but Thilla was completely heart broken. When Thilla was four years old, he started eating less, his appetite decreased. On the fourth day when me and my sister returned from school in the evening, we found him in the jasmine bushes. We went to talk him into coming inside, he just lifted his head, looked at us and kept his eyes fixated on us. After about 15 minutes, we realized that he was no more. He left us with his eyes gazing us and among the jasmine bushes. As it was getting dark, my mother decided to bury him in the early morning. We went to the nearby fields where we hoped Thilla would see Jacky and bade a good bye to Thilla.  

The Art Of Saying Goodbye

As a school girl, I would always wave a good bye to my mother; whenever I left home. The regularity turned to habit and the habit into compulsion; so much that I would insist on my mother standing near the garden gate when I was leaving for school, tuition classes, going out with friends etc. "Ta-ta !" is how I waved my hand for a good bye. I somehow connected it all to good luck, something that would make my day great and wonderful.

After I got married, me and my husband shifted to a different city. I would keep in regular touch with my parents through the telephone and now the mobile. But given any call, our conversation ends with  a "Ta-ta". It has now been more than eighteen years since my marriage, but even to this day, whenever I am visiting my parents, I still make it a point to follow my compulsion of waving a good bye to my mother. And the best thing is me continuing this habit with our daughter. As a result of which whenever she is to leave home, she expects me to come to the door and give her best wishes along with a good bye.

These two emotionally bonding and psychologically assuring situations in my life prompted me to delve further on goodbyes and farewells and accordingly I have put my thoughts on this blog organizing my discussion for different situations.

1. Person to person goodbye
An informal goodbye involves differences depending on the age, environment and mood ! Remember the days when your school friend would come visiting or vice versa and the longest conversations would take place after deciding to bid a goodbye ?! The most serious of discussion takes place when in your forties you meet one such friend and after the initial effervescent updates, you both end up reminiscing memories and enjoying the unspoken thoughts. Such a rendezvous does not necessarily involve a goodbye, but only the promise to meet again. For the senior citizens, the chance meeting is all about racking the memory and amazing at the divine intervention of bringing lost friends together and saying a quick goodbye; in case the memory permits.

2. Professional Goodbye
With a busy working schedule and hectic lifestyle, your office colleagues become a part of life. Little joys of sharing success or failure over a cup of tea, discussions involving projects over heated discussions, getting involved in social activities as a division, etc; all ensure good camaraderie and connectivity to make the professional environment a thing to look forward to. Goodbyes in such situations truly mean to meet each other the next working day for colleagues or next official meeting for the clients. The goodbyes are more to do with an eagerness to meet again in order to keep oneself updated and informed of all the professional interests or developments.  

3. Group Goodbye
The school reunions, alumni meets, professional groups, virtual groups, family groups, friends groups, hobby groups, parents groups; all are a part and parcel of our life. The 'get together' has been promptly replaced with 'chat together' by making communication easy and fast. Such groups have lots of messages on initial greetings but very few on goodbyes. In case all group members decide to meet for good old times sake, then the good byes are laden with lot of hope to keep in touch. At such times, real conversation

4. Retirement and Goodbye
This is a very difficult moment for any person who has been completely devoted to his career / job / company. Most of the times, it is difficult to 'un-follow' the office routine. Great effort has to be put in during the retirement phase with conscious detachment from people and delegation of duty. Subordinates who once followed professional protocol, become pals later on. Superiors who commanded and demanded respect opt for developing a camaraderie. In both cases, one has to pursue interests for keeping busy. Hence, the good bye to the company or career, becomes more of introspection for developing other interests and practicing them.

5. Worldly Goodbye
The Hindus believe in four age-based life stages as discussed in Indian texts of the ancient and medieval eras. These stages are Brahmacharya (student), Grihastha (householder), Vanaprastha (retired) and Sanyasa (renunciation). Accordingly, a person is expected to shoulder responsibility or delegate responsibility or renounce the world and its pleasures as per the stage. This is the most difficult of all goodbyes; if at all one is aware of the last farewell. At such a time, thoughts wander to leaving the loved ones with a clear conscience and in the hope of attaining peace.

Easier said than done. It is not easy to say a last goodbye to oneself, to others or to a loved one. Peace lies in the fact that there was emotional and spiritual bond that was shared and which cannot be shredded just by bidding a farewell.