As a school girl, I would always wave a good bye to my mother; whenever I left home. The regularity turned to habit and the habit into compulsion; so much that I would insist on my mother standing near the garden gate when I was leaving for school, tuition classes, going out with friends etc. "Ta-ta !" is how I waved my hand for a good bye. I somehow connected it all to good luck, something that would make my day great and wonderful.
After I got married, me and my husband shifted to a different city. I would keep in regular touch with my parents through the telephone and now the mobile. But given any call, our conversation ends with a "Ta-ta". It has now been more than eighteen years since my marriage, but even to this day, whenever I am visiting my parents, I still make it a point to follow my compulsion of waving a good bye to my mother. And the best thing is me continuing this habit with our daughter. As a result of which whenever she is to leave home, she expects me to come to the door and give her best wishes along with a good bye.
These two emotionally bonding and psychologically assuring situations in my life prompted me to delve further on goodbyes and farewells and accordingly I have put my thoughts on this blog organizing my discussion for different situations.
1. Person to person goodbye
An informal goodbye involves differences depending on the age, environment and mood ! Remember the days when your school friend would come visiting or vice versa and the longest conversations would take place after deciding to bid a goodbye ?! The most serious of discussion takes place when in your forties you meet one such friend and after the initial effervescent updates, you both end up reminiscing memories and enjoying the unspoken thoughts. Such a rendezvous does not necessarily involve a goodbye, but only the promise to meet again. For the senior citizens, the chance meeting is all about racking the memory and amazing at the divine intervention of bringing lost friends together and saying a quick goodbye; in case the memory permits.
2. Professional Goodbye
With a busy working schedule and hectic lifestyle, your office colleagues become a part of life. Little joys of sharing success or failure over a cup of tea, discussions involving projects over heated discussions, getting involved in social activities as a division, etc; all ensure good camaraderie and connectivity to make the professional environment a thing to look forward to. Goodbyes in such situations truly mean to meet each other the next working day for colleagues or next official meeting for the clients. The goodbyes are more to do with an eagerness to meet again in order to keep oneself updated and informed of all the professional interests or developments.
3. Group Goodbye
The school reunions, alumni meets, professional groups, virtual groups, family groups, friends groups, hobby groups, parents groups; all are a part and parcel of our life. The 'get together' has been promptly replaced with 'chat together' by making communication easy and fast. Such groups have lots of messages on initial greetings but very few on goodbyes. In case all group members decide to meet for good old times sake, then the good byes are laden with lot of hope to keep in touch. At such times, real conversation
4. Retirement and Goodbye
This is a very difficult moment for any person who has been completely devoted to his career / job / company. Most of the times, it is difficult to 'un-follow' the office routine. Great effort has to be put in during the retirement phase with conscious detachment from people and delegation of duty. Subordinates who once followed professional protocol, become pals later on. Superiors who commanded and demanded respect opt for developing a camaraderie. In both cases, one has to pursue interests for keeping busy. Hence, the good bye to the company or career, becomes more of introspection for developing other interests and practicing them.
5. Worldly Goodbye
The Hindus believe in four age-based life stages as discussed in Indian texts of the ancient and medieval eras. These stages are Brahmacharya (student), Grihastha (householder), Vanaprastha (retired) and Sanyasa (renunciation). Accordingly, a person is expected to shoulder responsibility or delegate responsibility or renounce the world and its pleasures as per the stage. This is the most difficult of all goodbyes; if at all one is aware of the last farewell. At such a time, thoughts wander to leaving the loved ones with a clear conscience and in the hope of attaining peace.
Easier said than done. It is not easy to say a last goodbye to oneself, to others or to a loved one. Peace lies in the fact that there was emotional and spiritual bond that was shared and which cannot be shredded just by bidding a farewell.
These two emotionally bonding and psychologically assuring situations in my life prompted me to delve further on goodbyes and farewells and accordingly I have put my thoughts on this blog organizing my discussion for different situations.
1. Person to person goodbye
An informal goodbye involves differences depending on the age, environment and mood ! Remember the days when your school friend would come visiting or vice versa and the longest conversations would take place after deciding to bid a goodbye ?! The most serious of discussion takes place when in your forties you meet one such friend and after the initial effervescent updates, you both end up reminiscing memories and enjoying the unspoken thoughts. Such a rendezvous does not necessarily involve a goodbye, but only the promise to meet again. For the senior citizens, the chance meeting is all about racking the memory and amazing at the divine intervention of bringing lost friends together and saying a quick goodbye; in case the memory permits.
2. Professional Goodbye
With a busy working schedule and hectic lifestyle, your office colleagues become a part of life. Little joys of sharing success or failure over a cup of tea, discussions involving projects over heated discussions, getting involved in social activities as a division, etc; all ensure good camaraderie and connectivity to make the professional environment a thing to look forward to. Goodbyes in such situations truly mean to meet each other the next working day for colleagues or next official meeting for the clients. The goodbyes are more to do with an eagerness to meet again in order to keep oneself updated and informed of all the professional interests or developments.
3. Group Goodbye
The school reunions, alumni meets, professional groups, virtual groups, family groups, friends groups, hobby groups, parents groups; all are a part and parcel of our life. The 'get together' has been promptly replaced with 'chat together' by making communication easy and fast. Such groups have lots of messages on initial greetings but very few on goodbyes. In case all group members decide to meet for good old times sake, then the good byes are laden with lot of hope to keep in touch. At such times, real conversation
4. Retirement and Goodbye
This is a very difficult moment for any person who has been completely devoted to his career / job / company. Most of the times, it is difficult to 'un-follow' the office routine. Great effort has to be put in during the retirement phase with conscious detachment from people and delegation of duty. Subordinates who once followed professional protocol, become pals later on. Superiors who commanded and demanded respect opt for developing a camaraderie. In both cases, one has to pursue interests for keeping busy. Hence, the good bye to the company or career, becomes more of introspection for developing other interests and practicing them.
5. Worldly Goodbye
The Hindus believe in four age-based life stages as discussed in Indian texts of the ancient and medieval eras. These stages are Brahmacharya (student), Grihastha (householder), Vanaprastha (retired) and Sanyasa (renunciation). Accordingly, a person is expected to shoulder responsibility or delegate responsibility or renounce the world and its pleasures as per the stage. This is the most difficult of all goodbyes; if at all one is aware of the last farewell. At such a time, thoughts wander to leaving the loved ones with a clear conscience and in the hope of attaining peace.
Easier said than done. It is not easy to say a last goodbye to oneself, to others or to a loved one. Peace lies in the fact that there was emotional and spiritual bond that was shared and which cannot be shredded just by bidding a farewell.
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