"Hello Doctor ! I am Myna's mother. Could you please ... " on goes Smita's telephonic conversation with their family doctor whenever somebody in the family is sick and the clinic is not open. She is more popular as Myna's mother with the neighborhood doctor, in the building that they stay in etc. The fact that Smita is working in a multi national company, has colleagues, has her own friend circle etc; in no way matches the contentment she feels when addressed as Myna's mother.
Smita's identity as a mother is as old as her daughter, though her identity as a person is as old as her age. But still, like most mothers, her happiness knows no bounds whenever she is known as her daughter's mother. Maybe it is the identity of being a mother that a woman cherishes the most. Maybe a woman lives her life again as a girl through her daughter; whatever be the reason, a woman loves being identified with a 'life' (read child) that she holds in her heart.
The thought made her think about 'my identity'.
A baby has the best established identity in the family. All members welcome the baby and center their activities as per the baby's needs. Babies are used to be waited upon. Gradually though, this situation changes. Baby blossoms into a child and establishing an identity among friends takes precedence. A child loves being identified for individual behavior and being the teachers pet is like cherry on top.
As a teenager, a child becomes more rebellious and assertive and tries to find identity as a group. Getting known as one member of a group / gang, ensures the identity of all like-minded set of friends. Teenagers begin to shy away from teacher's attention. They take pride in shouldering tasks between their group but responsibilities at their home; is simply not their cup of tea. They enjoy basking in the glory or the shadow of the group. Parents' show of affection embarrasses them; contradictory to their behavior as a child.
An adult on the other hand has a different personality, maturity ! They gradually take on responsibility of self, family, career, their mistakes, etc. It is this adult phase that makes one think - for the self, family, friends, society and so on. And think they must. Think on political, social, professional, personal etc issues. They easily adapt to their roles as a working professional, relaxing son / daughter, enthusiastic friend, loving spouse, proud parent. Somewhere in all this socializing, the importance of self identity gets less and less as compared to that of a child. What began as being the 'center of attention', now transits to being the 'provider of center of attention'. The adult becomes more caring and aware of the needs of others.
This awareness on others' needs; is what defines and chisels our identity. No longer does an individual crave for attention, rather he / she gives attention by way of observation. The sense of identity is in relation to the environment.
At work, a person is more about defined duties in the professional capacity. A subordinate would love to be appreciated for his effort and work whereas it is expected from the superior to look after the subordinates, encourage them etc. Employee benefits, promotions, bonuses, etc are important but a pat on the back by a superior goes a long way in boosting one's confidence and esteem.
At home, a spouse or parent or individual has more to do about steering the life through uncharted territory. This uncharted territory brings about the true nature of self. Children look up to their parents for such guidance in life. Materialistic things do bring amusement and sense of prestige in a family but it is finally the emotional well being of a family that holds the members together and goes a long way in providing the necessary comfort to a child.
Smita represents the many individuals who know the value of emotional connect among-st humans and environment alike. Her husband, daughter, relatives, friends; all contributed in shaping her personality. Even the small animals helped her identify the joys of being in their company. Her small balcony garden provided the experience to watch plants grow and flowers bloom.
The squirrel shrieked on her kitchen window for food and brought Smita back to her surroundings in the morning rush. The cat meowed at the door for some milk and Smita was trying to do justice to all while packing three lunch boxes. At home, nobody addresses her as 'madam' like they do in her office, but strangely she feels more required here, at her home. Her identity sees fulfillment as a person, mother, wife, daughter, sister and so many relations that we cherish.
The thought made her think about 'my identity'.
A baby has the best established identity in the family. All members welcome the baby and center their activities as per the baby's needs. Babies are used to be waited upon. Gradually though, this situation changes. Baby blossoms into a child and establishing an identity among friends takes precedence. A child loves being identified for individual behavior and being the teachers pet is like cherry on top.
As a teenager, a child becomes more rebellious and assertive and tries to find identity as a group. Getting known as one member of a group / gang, ensures the identity of all like-minded set of friends. Teenagers begin to shy away from teacher's attention. They take pride in shouldering tasks between their group but responsibilities at their home; is simply not their cup of tea. They enjoy basking in the glory or the shadow of the group. Parents' show of affection embarrasses them; contradictory to their behavior as a child.
An adult on the other hand has a different personality, maturity ! They gradually take on responsibility of self, family, career, their mistakes, etc. It is this adult phase that makes one think - for the self, family, friends, society and so on. And think they must. Think on political, social, professional, personal etc issues. They easily adapt to their roles as a working professional, relaxing son / daughter, enthusiastic friend, loving spouse, proud parent. Somewhere in all this socializing, the importance of self identity gets less and less as compared to that of a child. What began as being the 'center of attention', now transits to being the 'provider of center of attention'. The adult becomes more caring and aware of the needs of others.
This awareness on others' needs; is what defines and chisels our identity. No longer does an individual crave for attention, rather he / she gives attention by way of observation. The sense of identity is in relation to the environment.
At work, a person is more about defined duties in the professional capacity. A subordinate would love to be appreciated for his effort and work whereas it is expected from the superior to look after the subordinates, encourage them etc. Employee benefits, promotions, bonuses, etc are important but a pat on the back by a superior goes a long way in boosting one's confidence and esteem.
At home, a spouse or parent or individual has more to do about steering the life through uncharted territory. This uncharted territory brings about the true nature of self. Children look up to their parents for such guidance in life. Materialistic things do bring amusement and sense of prestige in a family but it is finally the emotional well being of a family that holds the members together and goes a long way in providing the necessary comfort to a child.
Smita represents the many individuals who know the value of emotional connect among-st humans and environment alike. Her husband, daughter, relatives, friends; all contributed in shaping her personality. Even the small animals helped her identify the joys of being in their company. Her small balcony garden provided the experience to watch plants grow and flowers bloom.
The squirrel shrieked on her kitchen window for food and brought Smita back to her surroundings in the morning rush. The cat meowed at the door for some milk and Smita was trying to do justice to all while packing three lunch boxes. At home, nobody addresses her as 'madam' like they do in her office, but strangely she feels more required here, at her home. Her identity sees fulfillment as a person, mother, wife, daughter, sister and so many relations that we cherish.
Very nicely expressed.. :)
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